Tuesday, April 28, 2009

State of me

Sorry,it's been so long since I posted and it will probably be a while after this one, but I wanted to share something with you before I lost it. For those of you who don't know, M and I are in a long distance mentorship,which can and often does make it difficult.
This semester has been extremely bad. It seem like of this crap is happening, and there is nothing I can do about it. To make matters worse, I can't seem to recollect anything,especially when it comes to tests. This has gotten me in trouble quite a bit with M. If you include the maintenance spanking, I've been getting about two spankings a week here lately, and it sucks.
When I am at home or work, it makes it hard for him to be "you're trouble, do you understand me?". Somehow, he still manages it. I just can't say what he would like to hear.
Tonight, I had missed two calls from M while I was on the phone to my mother. I called him back, and he was on the bus. The moment he got home and into his room, he really lit into me with a lecture. Partially my fault because he brought up meds and I couldn't recollect whether or not I had taken a dose yesterday. I checked the prescription bottle to see if we could figure out that way. The bottle only had a month's supply and hadn't been refilled since January. Let me tell you he was pretty livid.
Basically, by the end of the call, I was all hush and yes,sir. He started saying this was good and that it only took a few months to get me in a submissive state. Now I only wish that would get me out of a spanking tonight. Not for meds. For a stupid physics test. Whatever you do do NOT take physics.
Oh, and M is wanting me to get a paddle. I've been working all day on him changing his mind. He told me tonight though that it is nonnegotiable.
Any suggestions?

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Proposition

For those of you who don't know, I go to school full-time and I am a resident assistant. I don't work as a resident assistant during the summer because it just doesn't pay enough plus the town is basically dead. I did recently apply for a job that would have required me to stay here for the summer. Much to the relief of my family, I didn't get it. It would have been nice because it would have been a big pay increase. However, I am okay with it, and my little brother is estatic because I will be able to go to his gamees.
I haven't started applying for jobs back home because I was waiting to hear whether or not I was getting the job here. I am suppose to go on Monday to get help with my resume from a school councellor.
My mom called me today and said that she wanted to tell me something without me getting mad. Most of the time that phrase means I am going to say something, and it is going to offend you. I am not exactly sure yet whether or not I am offended.
One of the problems that I have with going home in the summer is my father is a nag. He is constantly getting on to everyone about housework and such. One of the phrases that I hate that comes out of his mouth on a regular basis is, "when you have a real job". I have always helped out with the family businesses whatever they may be. I've had a job that I was made for since I was 15. However, he doesn't consider either of those to be real jobs. One of those was a nanny postion. If I had been mowing lawns, I guarentee you he would have considered that to be a real job. Sorry didn't mean to get on a rant.
Well, my mom said that she didn't want me to work over the summer. I love to work. In fact, I'd rather work than go to school. My mother promises that if I take the summer off my dad won't be nagging at me over housework. In a way, it would be nice to take the summer off, but I am not sure that I can handle a whole summer of doing nothingness.
My aunt wants me to work at the Girl Scout Camp for the summer. Personally, I would like to avoid doing anything like what I am doing now. I have a job that can be very stressful. To make matters even better during the stressful times, I live at my job. I see my coworkers everyday whether I am working or not.
I am considering their offer. The only condition was that I had to take my two siblings who can't drive back and forth to church.
I need to boost my resume for if I decide to go to grad or med school. This presents a problem if I choose to take the summer off.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Corner Time

I don't know how many of you get corner time, but occasionally M will give it to me. I really don't like it. It can be a good thing for me sometimes. Take Sunday for example. M and I disagree about homework.

I usually get very upset about it, and I decide that I am just giving up. If M knows about it, he is really good about encouraging me to finish it. Well, M has also decided that on Sundays are now going to involve a maintance spanking. He called to see what I was up to and how I was doing. I told him that I was going to finish, and he said to finish. It ended up with me getting a tone that I know better than to take with M, which was really stupid on my part to take because I was already getting a spanking anyhow. So that just earned me time in the corner. 15 long, excuricating minutes to be exact.

It was good,however, to calm me down. I got a spanking directly afterwards, and Mike went to bed soon afterwards. I had been struggling with two problems for over an hour. I got both problems about ten minutes after I went back to working on the homework. If I hadn't have been so frustrated in the first place, I wouldn't have let my temper get the better of me, and I would have been done with my homework a lot sooner.