Sorry,it's been so long since I posted and it will probably be a while after this one, but I wanted to share something with you before I lost it. For those of you who don't know, M and I are in a long distance mentorship,which can and often does make it difficult.
This semester has been extremely bad. It seem like of this crap is happening, and there is nothing I can do about it. To make matters worse, I can't seem to recollect anything,especially when it comes to tests. This has gotten me in trouble quite a bit with M. If you include the maintenance spanking, I've been getting about two spankings a week here lately, and it sucks.
When I am at home or work, it makes it hard for him to be "you're trouble, do you understand me?". Somehow, he still manages it. I just can't say what he would like to hear.
Tonight, I had missed two calls from M while I was on the phone to my mother. I called him back, and he was on the bus. The moment he got home and into his room, he really lit into me with a lecture. Partially my fault because he brought up meds and I couldn't recollect whether or not I had taken a dose yesterday. I checked the prescription bottle to see if we could figure out that way. The bottle only had a month's supply and hadn't been refilled since January. Let me tell you he was pretty livid.
Basically, by the end of the call, I was all hush and yes,sir. He started saying this was good and that it only took a few months to get me in a submissive state. Now I only wish that would get me out of a spanking tonight. Not for meds. For a stupid physics test. Whatever you do do NOT take physics.
Oh, and M is wanting me to get a paddle. I've been working all day on him changing his mind. He told me tonight though that it is nonnegotiable.
Any suggestions?
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Proposition
For those of you who don't know, I go to school full-time and I am a resident assistant. I don't work as a resident assistant during the summer because it just doesn't pay enough plus the town is basically dead. I did recently apply for a job that would have required me to stay here for the summer. Much to the relief of my family, I didn't get it. It would have been nice because it would have been a big pay increase. However, I am okay with it, and my little brother is estatic because I will be able to go to his gamees.
I haven't started applying for jobs back home because I was waiting to hear whether or not I was getting the job here. I am suppose to go on Monday to get help with my resume from a school councellor.
My mom called me today and said that she wanted to tell me something without me getting mad. Most of the time that phrase means I am going to say something, and it is going to offend you. I am not exactly sure yet whether or not I am offended.
One of the problems that I have with going home in the summer is my father is a nag. He is constantly getting on to everyone about housework and such. One of the phrases that I hate that comes out of his mouth on a regular basis is, "when you have a real job". I have always helped out with the family businesses whatever they may be. I've had a job that I was made for since I was 15. However, he doesn't consider either of those to be real jobs. One of those was a nanny postion. If I had been mowing lawns, I guarentee you he would have considered that to be a real job. Sorry didn't mean to get on a rant.
Well, my mom said that she didn't want me to work over the summer. I love to work. In fact, I'd rather work than go to school. My mother promises that if I take the summer off my dad won't be nagging at me over housework. In a way, it would be nice to take the summer off, but I am not sure that I can handle a whole summer of doing nothingness.
My aunt wants me to work at the Girl Scout Camp for the summer. Personally, I would like to avoid doing anything like what I am doing now. I have a job that can be very stressful. To make matters even better during the stressful times, I live at my job. I see my coworkers everyday whether I am working or not.
I am considering their offer. The only condition was that I had to take my two siblings who can't drive back and forth to church.
I need to boost my resume for if I decide to go to grad or med school. This presents a problem if I choose to take the summer off.
I haven't started applying for jobs back home because I was waiting to hear whether or not I was getting the job here. I am suppose to go on Monday to get help with my resume from a school councellor.
My mom called me today and said that she wanted to tell me something without me getting mad. Most of the time that phrase means I am going to say something, and it is going to offend you. I am not exactly sure yet whether or not I am offended.
One of the problems that I have with going home in the summer is my father is a nag. He is constantly getting on to everyone about housework and such. One of the phrases that I hate that comes out of his mouth on a regular basis is, "when you have a real job". I have always helped out with the family businesses whatever they may be. I've had a job that I was made for since I was 15. However, he doesn't consider either of those to be real jobs. One of those was a nanny postion. If I had been mowing lawns, I guarentee you he would have considered that to be a real job. Sorry didn't mean to get on a rant.
Well, my mom said that she didn't want me to work over the summer. I love to work. In fact, I'd rather work than go to school. My mother promises that if I take the summer off my dad won't be nagging at me over housework. In a way, it would be nice to take the summer off, but I am not sure that I can handle a whole summer of doing nothingness.
My aunt wants me to work at the Girl Scout Camp for the summer. Personally, I would like to avoid doing anything like what I am doing now. I have a job that can be very stressful. To make matters even better during the stressful times, I live at my job. I see my coworkers everyday whether I am working or not.
I am considering their offer. The only condition was that I had to take my two siblings who can't drive back and forth to church.
I need to boost my resume for if I decide to go to grad or med school. This presents a problem if I choose to take the summer off.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Corner Time
I don't know how many of you get corner time, but occasionally M will give it to me. I really don't like it. It can be a good thing for me sometimes. Take Sunday for example. M and I disagree about homework.
I usually get very upset about it, and I decide that I am just giving up. If M knows about it, he is really good about encouraging me to finish it. Well, M has also decided that on Sundays are now going to involve a maintance spanking. He called to see what I was up to and how I was doing. I told him that I was going to finish, and he said to finish. It ended up with me getting a tone that I know better than to take with M, which was really stupid on my part to take because I was already getting a spanking anyhow. So that just earned me time in the corner. 15 long, excuricating minutes to be exact.
It was good,however, to calm me down. I got a spanking directly afterwards, and Mike went to bed soon afterwards. I had been struggling with two problems for over an hour. I got both problems about ten minutes after I went back to working on the homework. If I hadn't have been so frustrated in the first place, I wouldn't have let my temper get the better of me, and I would have been done with my homework a lot sooner.
I usually get very upset about it, and I decide that I am just giving up. If M knows about it, he is really good about encouraging me to finish it. Well, M has also decided that on Sundays are now going to involve a maintance spanking. He called to see what I was up to and how I was doing. I told him that I was going to finish, and he said to finish. It ended up with me getting a tone that I know better than to take with M, which was really stupid on my part to take because I was already getting a spanking anyhow. So that just earned me time in the corner. 15 long, excuricating minutes to be exact.
It was good,however, to calm me down. I got a spanking directly afterwards, and Mike went to bed soon afterwards. I had been struggling with two problems for over an hour. I got both problems about ten minutes after I went back to working on the homework. If I hadn't have been so frustrated in the first place, I wouldn't have let my temper get the better of me, and I would have been done with my homework a lot sooner.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
You don't know me so don't judge me
I am going to be quite frank, and it has nothing to do with anything my readers have said. It has to do with how rude some people are. I am online quite a bit. I am especially fond of chatting. It is a good way of meeting new people and learning from them. It is also a good procrasination tool.
The problem that I seem to have is running into people who believe in discipline, whether it be a domestic discipline relationship or not. Normally, females aren't so bad and are okay with simply chatting. The males on the other hand are a completely different story. There are a few out there who are willing to chat and wait until they have known you for a while before they try to submit any other ideas.
There are a few males out there, however, that think so highly of themselves that the only reason anyone would want to chat with them is because they are need of discipline and are seeking help from them. Then, they get all high and mighty when people are not willing to agree to either their ideals or to submit to their off the wall discipline.
I will admit that I am on the heavy side. If you ever met me in person, you would know I don't have a problem with it. I can do a lot of things that several skinny people can't, and it amazes me because you would think that they would be in better shape than I. I, do however, have a wonderful personality, and tons of people like me. Quite frankly, I don't need someone's approval who has never met me.
I think part of the problem is we have too many boys trying to be doms when all they are is little boys. It takes a true man to be a dom. I am not online because I need judgement. I get plenty of that in my daily life. I am not online because I need someone else to tell me what I am doing wrong and how I should behave. I already have people for that.
If you're not capable of leading in real life, you need to quit trying to run all over people online. It doesn't take long before your true colors show through. Subs and doms alike can tell when someone is being fake. When you're trying to give out punishments because the software is bad, you're not a leader. You're attempting to get your jollies at someone else's expense, and it won't be at mine.
For those of you who have understood me and have given me support, thank you. It's genuinely appreciated.
The problem that I seem to have is running into people who believe in discipline, whether it be a domestic discipline relationship or not. Normally, females aren't so bad and are okay with simply chatting. The males on the other hand are a completely different story. There are a few out there who are willing to chat and wait until they have known you for a while before they try to submit any other ideas.
There are a few males out there, however, that think so highly of themselves that the only reason anyone would want to chat with them is because they are need of discipline and are seeking help from them. Then, they get all high and mighty when people are not willing to agree to either their ideals or to submit to their off the wall discipline.
I will admit that I am on the heavy side. If you ever met me in person, you would know I don't have a problem with it. I can do a lot of things that several skinny people can't, and it amazes me because you would think that they would be in better shape than I. I, do however, have a wonderful personality, and tons of people like me. Quite frankly, I don't need someone's approval who has never met me.
I think part of the problem is we have too many boys trying to be doms when all they are is little boys. It takes a true man to be a dom. I am not online because I need judgement. I get plenty of that in my daily life. I am not online because I need someone else to tell me what I am doing wrong and how I should behave. I already have people for that.
If you're not capable of leading in real life, you need to quit trying to run all over people online. It doesn't take long before your true colors show through. Subs and doms alike can tell when someone is being fake. When you're trying to give out punishments because the software is bad, you're not a leader. You're attempting to get your jollies at someone else's expense, and it won't be at mine.
For those of you who have understood me and have given me support, thank you. It's genuinely appreciated.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Still owe two
The four spankings that I owed started onMonday. After getting the first one out of the four, I was sent to the corner for fifteen minutes. Have I ever told you how much I hate the corner? It is an awfully boring place. However, it served the purpose that M was wanting. It got me to thinking, and I probably spend way too much time on the internet, which I have decided I am going to work on.
School has a tendency to wear me out. I get too frustrated, and I don't get enough sleep. I went down to get my laundry out of the basement. Usually, after a spanking, I get very calmed down and contrite. Usually, I stay this way at least a couple of days. However, I quickly got aggrevated,and basically, asked for another spanking. It did the trick, and I felt alot better. Unfortunately, I don't think it counts towards my four.
Tuesday, I got a second one. Thankfully, no corner time. Wednesday and Thursday I didn't get one at all. So I still owe two more. Translation. Three days of spanking in a row if we do tonight and Saturday because I still have a maintance spanking on Sunday. Maybe, M will forget about it.
School has a tendency to wear me out. I get too frustrated, and I don't get enough sleep. I went down to get my laundry out of the basement. Usually, after a spanking, I get very calmed down and contrite. Usually, I stay this way at least a couple of days. However, I quickly got aggrevated,and basically, asked for another spanking. It did the trick, and I felt alot better. Unfortunately, I don't think it counts towards my four.
Tuesday, I got a second one. Thankfully, no corner time. Wednesday and Thursday I didn't get one at all. So I still owe two more. Translation. Three days of spanking in a row if we do tonight and Saturday because I still have a maintance spanking on Sunday. Maybe, M will forget about it.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
In for it now.....
I don't know what happened. I thought I had studied enough. Apparently not. Now, I am in hot water. I am currently home visiting my parents for Spring Break. Safe for now. However, I know when I return to school. I am going to be sorry that I wasn't more attentive.
Last week, I managed to fail three tests, and I didn't turn in a homework assignment. I am not really worried about the homework assignment. The teacher will let me turn that in late. I'll just turn it in with the next chapter. The thing that worries me about the homework is I fessed up to M about it. So now instead of having three spankings waiting for me, I have four. Much to the delight and disappointment of my rear which will be taking them, he is spreading them out over the week so I don't have to pay up all at once. However, I am sure that my rear is going to be wishing that he had spread them over a couple of weeks instead of a couple of days.
To make it even better, I have to sit on this awful stool for lab on Tuesday. I've never had a spanking the night before going to lab. However, the stool hurts enough on it's own. The teacher usually spends the first 45 minutes of the lab lecturing and giving a quiz. The moment she allows us to start with the experiment I jump out of my seat and spend the whole entire rest of the time standing. I can only imagine how much worse it is going to be with having a sore rear before going to lab. Not looking forward to that at all.
On another note, M has decided that we need maintance. :( I am not looking forward to it at all. On a good note, it is only once a week and doesn't start until next Sunday. On the other hand, I really don't want maintance. M doesn't understand why if I don't like the idea of maintance why I am not fighting against. Truth be told, I don't think it would do any good if I did.
I can get a horrible attitude which M doesn't like at all. It's not that I get nasty and start yelling and cussing at him. It's usually more of I don't feel like doing schoolwork anymore. I don't care that I have a quiz tomorrow type of behavior. Sometimes, it will carry over into me kind of backtalking M.
For example,
Me: I don't want to do my physics homework.
M: When's it due?
Me: Tonight. In about three hours.
M: You better get it done.
Me: I don't want to it. It's stupid, and most of the problems are unsolvable.
M: I bet they are solvable. Go do your homework, and I'll talk to you when it's done.
An hour later
M: Did you get it done?
Me: No.
M: Then why are you calling me?
Me: Because it's stupid, and I am getting nowhere.
M: Do you need a spanking?
Me: No.
M: I think you might need a spanking to help you get it done.
Me: No. I don't need or want one.
M: Then, go finish your homework.
Almost this exact conversation has led to me getting a spanking in the past. Not because I didn't get the homework done, but because I had a sorry attitude about doing it. M says he's found a pattern of me having a crappy attitude, me getting a spanking, and the attitude going away for a while. He is opening to avoid it all together by just settting maintence.
Last week, I managed to fail three tests, and I didn't turn in a homework assignment. I am not really worried about the homework assignment. The teacher will let me turn that in late. I'll just turn it in with the next chapter. The thing that worries me about the homework is I fessed up to M about it. So now instead of having three spankings waiting for me, I have four. Much to the delight and disappointment of my rear which will be taking them, he is spreading them out over the week so I don't have to pay up all at once. However, I am sure that my rear is going to be wishing that he had spread them over a couple of weeks instead of a couple of days.
To make it even better, I have to sit on this awful stool for lab on Tuesday. I've never had a spanking the night before going to lab. However, the stool hurts enough on it's own. The teacher usually spends the first 45 minutes of the lab lecturing and giving a quiz. The moment she allows us to start with the experiment I jump out of my seat and spend the whole entire rest of the time standing. I can only imagine how much worse it is going to be with having a sore rear before going to lab. Not looking forward to that at all.
On another note, M has decided that we need maintance. :( I am not looking forward to it at all. On a good note, it is only once a week and doesn't start until next Sunday. On the other hand, I really don't want maintance. M doesn't understand why if I don't like the idea of maintance why I am not fighting against. Truth be told, I don't think it would do any good if I did.
I can get a horrible attitude which M doesn't like at all. It's not that I get nasty and start yelling and cussing at him. It's usually more of I don't feel like doing schoolwork anymore. I don't care that I have a quiz tomorrow type of behavior. Sometimes, it will carry over into me kind of backtalking M.
For example,
Me: I don't want to do my physics homework.
M: When's it due?
Me: Tonight. In about three hours.
M: You better get it done.
Me: I don't want to it. It's stupid, and most of the problems are unsolvable.
M: I bet they are solvable. Go do your homework, and I'll talk to you when it's done.
An hour later
M: Did you get it done?
Me: No.
M: Then why are you calling me?
Me: Because it's stupid, and I am getting nowhere.
M: Do you need a spanking?
Me: No.
M: I think you might need a spanking to help you get it done.
Me: No. I don't need or want one.
M: Then, go finish your homework.
Almost this exact conversation has led to me getting a spanking in the past. Not because I didn't get the homework done, but because I had a sorry attitude about doing it. M says he's found a pattern of me having a crappy attitude, me getting a spanking, and the attitude going away for a while. He is opening to avoid it all together by just settting maintence.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
LDD
I don't know if anyone else reads the Loving Domestic Discipline site, but I have a few issues with the site. I check on the site every couple of days to see if anyone has posted any new comments since it doesn't show whether or not comments have been posted recently.
Every once and a while there will be someone on there that I think is totally off the wall. Occasionally, I agree with someone. I understand that everyone has their own way of doing things. You can't apply the same set of rules and standards for everyone.
If you haven't read the comments recently, I highly suggest you do. My post might make more sense. Two of the most recent comments involve maintance discipline. Both are highly recommended.
I am not particularly fond of maintance discipline, but I can see where it can work well for some people. However, I think that both women are a lot braver than I am. I would throw up my hands, stomp my feet, pack my bags, and leave.
The one guy does daily maintance and doesn't do it very hard. Okay, so I guess it's not that bad, especially considering the fact that she wrote in another section about how much good it does her. In fact, I believe she posted the day before he did.
The other guy I know for a fact that I wouldn't put up with that. I would run home to my mother in a heart beat. He only does it twice a week. How nice of him. However, he believes in being strict and even maintance is harsh. Unless she is spanked to tears, her maintance isn't considered to be effective.
I am not a crier when it comes to physical pain unless it is an extreme pain. Under this guy, I would be turned into hamburger meat. Honestly, why does anyone put up with that?
Lord knows I can get my own butt enough trouble without having the excruiciating pain of someone trying to strip the flesh off of my rear just to try to ensure that I behave.
Every once and a while there will be someone on there that I think is totally off the wall. Occasionally, I agree with someone. I understand that everyone has their own way of doing things. You can't apply the same set of rules and standards for everyone.
If you haven't read the comments recently, I highly suggest you do. My post might make more sense. Two of the most recent comments involve maintance discipline. Both are highly recommended.
I am not particularly fond of maintance discipline, but I can see where it can work well for some people. However, I think that both women are a lot braver than I am. I would throw up my hands, stomp my feet, pack my bags, and leave.
The one guy does daily maintance and doesn't do it very hard. Okay, so I guess it's not that bad, especially considering the fact that she wrote in another section about how much good it does her. In fact, I believe she posted the day before he did.
The other guy I know for a fact that I wouldn't put up with that. I would run home to my mother in a heart beat. He only does it twice a week. How nice of him. However, he believes in being strict and even maintance is harsh. Unless she is spanked to tears, her maintance isn't considered to be effective.
I am not a crier when it comes to physical pain unless it is an extreme pain. Under this guy, I would be turned into hamburger meat. Honestly, why does anyone put up with that?
Lord knows I can get my own butt enough trouble without having the excruiciating pain of someone trying to strip the flesh off of my rear just to try to ensure that I behave.
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