So I've been given a bedtime. Midnight Sunday-Thursday and 2 am on Friday-Saturday. If something comes up, I can call and get permission to stay up later. Otherwise, I am expected to be in bed with the laptop off on time. It's the first time I've ever had a bedtime. I didn't even have one when I was a kid so there are some days that I just absolutely resent it.
Well, for the past week or so, I just haven't felt like going to bed when I was suppose to. Yesterday morning, I asked if we could just skip bedtime. He wanted to know why and wasn't happy with 'I just don't want to'. I proceeded to tell him that I wasn't happy with bedtime this week, and I was tired of doing it. I've been really iritable about the whole thing and tempted to stay up past it every night just because there was a rule there to break. It was rather bratty of me considering the fact that I have had two days this week where I didn't have bedtime and then a following day with an extension because I had to come back to school and I had a paper that was due the next morning.
We talked later on the phone, and he let me know that he wasn't happy about me thinking about staying up past bedtime, even though I knew it would get me in trouble. He said that he felt like I was disrepecting his authority. I hadn't meant for it to come across that way.
He's decided the best way to handle it would be some time in the corner. I've only been in the corner once, but I hate it. It is so embarrassiing, not to mention childish. I was so surprised when he told me that I couldn't say anything. I couldn't really argue with over it at the time anyhow because I was walking with my sister. She would be confused and would most likely tell my parents that she heard me arguing over going in the corner.
I finally got some alone time and was able to talk to him about it. I am still in trouble over being resentful and disrepectful. We can't do anything about it while my sister is here and I am at home. So when I get back on Sunday from home, we're going to deal with it then before I go to bed.
Although I am not happy about being punished, I did feel rather loved and cared for when we were done talking. By bedtime, I had no problem with doing as I had been told.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Needing Space
Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been doing other things, and everytime I have gone to update something has come up.
I have been talking to a guy, and there has been talk of maybe taking things from friendship to something more. The "R" word as he called it. This was a few days ago. Now, I am not so sure where we stand.
Thursday morning, he tells me that he sometimes gets too attached to people. Thursday night, he's asking if he's allowed to talk about the "R" word.I went to bed with butterflies in my tummy.
However, Friday morning, I got to thinking about what he had said Thursday morning. Friday afternoon, I asked him if this new talk was simply because he was getting too attached or if he was serious. He claims he was serious. And then, last night we stepped on each other's toes.
While I was talking to him on the phone, I went down to the lobby because a friend called me and said she was lonely and needed to be kept company so she wouldn't fall asleep at work. I figured I could go down there, keep talking to him, and she would just occasionally make her teasing comments. Once I got down there, it was a completely different story. There were tons of people, who hadn't been down there when she called.
Those who couldn't leave the building asked me to go to McDonald's to pick them up some food. So I took food orders and went. Before I even left the parking lot, he told me that he was going to run to the store and that he would call me later. He called me three and a half hours later, after I had already been asleep for over an hour. So he said Goodnight and let me go.
He told me yesterday that his plans for the weekend were to play videogames and watch the Couture vs. Lesnar fight. I am fine with this. We haven't instant messaged each other or talked on the phone today. This unusual for us. If nothing else, we talk for at least five minutes everyday. I am not going to push it. I am not going to call him. I am not going to leave him messages through yahoo. I am just going to let him take a break from me. If he wants to talk, he knows where to find me.
I will admit I did something that may have been a little hurtful to his feelings. The other day he got onto me for not studying. He asked me how I felt about it. I told him that after he was done I mentally seperated myself from him. He was just a being that was there until later. Maybe, I shouldn't have said that, but it was true.
I don't know what he wants from me. I don't know what he expects from me. He tells me to be truthful, to just be me, but it seems like I am constantly stepping on his toes whenever I answer one of his questions. Maybe distance and space is the answer. I'll let you know how it goes.
I have been talking to a guy, and there has been talk of maybe taking things from friendship to something more. The "R" word as he called it. This was a few days ago. Now, I am not so sure where we stand.
Thursday morning, he tells me that he sometimes gets too attached to people. Thursday night, he's asking if he's allowed to talk about the "R" word.I went to bed with butterflies in my tummy.
However, Friday morning, I got to thinking about what he had said Thursday morning. Friday afternoon, I asked him if this new talk was simply because he was getting too attached or if he was serious. He claims he was serious. And then, last night we stepped on each other's toes.
While I was talking to him on the phone, I went down to the lobby because a friend called me and said she was lonely and needed to be kept company so she wouldn't fall asleep at work. I figured I could go down there, keep talking to him, and she would just occasionally make her teasing comments. Once I got down there, it was a completely different story. There were tons of people, who hadn't been down there when she called.
Those who couldn't leave the building asked me to go to McDonald's to pick them up some food. So I took food orders and went. Before I even left the parking lot, he told me that he was going to run to the store and that he would call me later. He called me three and a half hours later, after I had already been asleep for over an hour. So he said Goodnight and let me go.
He told me yesterday that his plans for the weekend were to play videogames and watch the Couture vs. Lesnar fight. I am fine with this. We haven't instant messaged each other or talked on the phone today. This unusual for us. If nothing else, we talk for at least five minutes everyday. I am not going to push it. I am not going to call him. I am not going to leave him messages through yahoo. I am just going to let him take a break from me. If he wants to talk, he knows where to find me.
I will admit I did something that may have been a little hurtful to his feelings. The other day he got onto me for not studying. He asked me how I felt about it. I told him that after he was done I mentally seperated myself from him. He was just a being that was there until later. Maybe, I shouldn't have said that, but it was true.
I don't know what he wants from me. I don't know what he expects from me. He tells me to be truthful, to just be me, but it seems like I am constantly stepping on his toes whenever I answer one of his questions. Maybe distance and space is the answer. I'll let you know how it goes.
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