Burying the past

I don't handle emotional stuff very well. I hate showing emotions around other people. I am always afraid that my emotion is going to be wrong. One reason why I don't hug.
Hugs are something that are extremely personal to me so I just can't give them out to anyone, and not everyone receives hugs in the exact same manner. Some people hug all of the time while others only hug when they are extremely upset. Don't get me wrong. I'll return a hug when someone else initates it, but don't count on me to give you a hug. I'm the complete opposite of my sister in that manner. She just loves to hug.
This semester hasn't been good. Well, in some ways, it has been terrific. Some really good people have come into my life. Unfortunately, some great people have also left my life. Everyone else that was close to these people have sat and talked it out. I can't bring myself to do that.
What I want is for them to come back. I want them to fix whatever made them leave and for life to continue on as if nothing ever happened. Since that isn't going to happen, I am dealing with it the way that I deal with everyone else leaving my life. Try to forget that they were ever there until I can remember without wanting to cry.
I went to my grandmother's house today to have Christmas with the relatives that live up there, mainly my grandmother, my grandfather, my aunt, uncle and their kids. It's really hard to get along with them at times because they are so judgemental. So normally, I ignore them and don't say very much when they are around.
However, we were sitting there eating, and they were talking of something or another. I can't even remember what they had been talking about, but all of a sudden, my aunt says, "I heard your pastor left his wife." That is most definitely not what happened. She keeps at it, wanting to know what happened until I said, "I'd rather not discuss it."
It's still a rather sore topic still. When D and M left with the babies, I didn't know how to respond. I still don't. They had become family to me. They were people I could see myself staying in touch with for the rest of my life. Now I am not even sure if I should message them.